


Oh How You've Changed

by Loveislove87



Series: Robron Week 2019 [5]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Discussion of self harm scars, Husbands, M/M, References to breast cancer and mastectomy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 05:29:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18359564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: An argument in the pub sends Aaron briefly spinning.  It turns out, his husband may need more comfort than he does.





	Oh How You've Changed

**Author's Note:**

> Robron Week Day 5 - Quote

Robert and Aaron had been enjoying a quiet drink in the pub when they caught a bit of commotion coming from across the room.  Never ones for subtlety, Aaron and Robert both turned in their seats to see Rishi blushing and flailing helplessly against Faith’s accusations, Manpreet quietly sitting with her mouth hanging slightly open.

With his mum in the back, Aaron felt obligated to break up whatever this was.

“Nan, c’mon, what’s going on?  You all  gotta  keep it down in here.”  Aaron said with something of a smile.  As much trouble as she was, Aaron would always have a soft spot for his nan.

“Sorry, love, but I felt like this beautiful woman  here  deserved to know what kind of cold-hearted snake she was gettin' wed to!”  Faith had poked Rishi in the chest, the man dramatically grasping at the spot and taking deep breaths.  

“What have I ever done to you?” Rishi cried out.

Faith leveled him with a glare.  “Do the words breast cancer ring any bells?  No?  How about mastectomy?”

Rishi blanched at the question.  Faith just continued.

“You were so concerned with  appearance  that you brushed me aside.  Does she know that?  Does she know what you really think is important to make a woman?”  Faith was angrily pointing at Manpreet.  

Aaron, however, could barely focus.  

It’d been awhile since he thought about his own, scarred body.  Faith, ironically, had been the one to help him work through that time.  Now, hearing about his nan’s treatment, something just sat uncomfortably in his chest.  

He needed to leave.

Aaron moved quickly, brushing past the small group of people now gathered to give their varying opinions.  The door was in sight when he felt someone pull him back.

“Aaron?  What’s wrong?”  Robert had a serious look on his face, probably confused by Aaron’s sudden change in mood and hasty exit.

Robert had changed so much over the years.  He was kind and thoughtful, gave people the benefit of the doubt but would destroy you if you crossed his family.  It also warmed Aaron to realize that Robert ’s definition of  family include d  all the Dingles and then some.  But with the bitter taste left from Faith’s story and the discomfort he remembered feeling from a few Christmas’s ago rolling around in his brain, Aaron couldn’t help but see the man who mocked his scars, who made him feel small and vulnerable all those years ago.

He pulled his arm away with a “get off” and practically ran home, closing himself in the bathroom for a long, maybe too hot shower.

_____________________

The shower had helped to calm Aaron down and shake him out of his sudden funk.  It wasn’t often he felt so self-conscious anymore but, when it came, it hit him like a truck.

He got dressed and headed downstairs to make some tea.  As he headed down the stairs, he was surprised to find his husband, head in his hands, at the kitchen table sitting in the dark.  

Aaron cautiously moved toward his husband.  “Rob?”  No response.  “You okay?”

Robert sniffled and lifted his head, keeping his eyes away from Aaron and wiping his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  You okay?”

Aaron heard the choke in his voice.  

“Rob, what’s happened?”  He sat down next to his husband and rubbed his back.  Robert quickly got up and moved away.

“Aaron, I’m so sorry.”

Confused, Aaron asked, “what for?”

Robert leaned against the back of the couch, hands in his pockets and eyes steadfastly on the ground.

“I can guess why you ran out of the pub today.”  Aaron took a deep breath.  He didn’t mean to make a thing out of this.  It was a blip for him, one he’d managed to figure out how to handle over the years, but clearly his husband was upset, leaving Aaron honestly a bit confused.

“You can?”  Aaron wasn’t quite sure where this conversation was heading so he waited for Robert to take the lead.

Robert nodded, eyes still refusing to look at Aaron.  “Did I ever even apologize, Aaron?  Did I ever actually tell you that I never meant anything I said about your scars?  Ever?”  Robert’s voice broke as he practically begged Aaron.  Filtered in his voice were hints of regret and disappointment and disgust.

Aaron nodded and slowly got to his feet, not wanting to spook Robert away from him again.  “Yeah Rob.   Of course  you did.”

“But that’s why you left today, isn’t it?”  Robert waited but Aaron couldn’t find the words.  “You heard their argument and it reminded you of me and how horrible I was.  Right?”

Aaron moved slowly towards Robert.  “ Partially , y eah.”  A devastated look crossed Robert’s face.  “Rob, I don’t  wanna  lie to you.  It brought me back there for a second, okay?   To all the times throughout my life I’ve been self-conscious.   But I got home and worked through it and it’s fine.  You did apologize, so many times, and it’s okay now.  You were a different man then.”  

Aaron was close enough to touch so he took the risk and held Robert’s bicep, squeezing lightly.  Robert’s other hand came up to cover his  own  mouth.  Aaron thought he looked as though he might be sick.

Aaron took  Robert’s  chin in his hand and brought his face up.  Once Robert lifted his eyes, Aaron spoke.  

“What do you think of my scars now?”  

Robert sniffed.  “They’re a part of you.  They show how much you’ve gone through but how you’ve come out of it all in the end.”

He wiped his face roughly.  “They’re a part of what makes you beautiful.”

Aaron smiled, tears filling his eyes.  He slowly moved his hands to the buttons on Robert’s shirt.  He began to unbutton it, working his way down, hyper aware of  Robert’s  confused expression.

Once the shirt was completely open, Aaron pushed the sides out of the way, exposing Robert’s bare chest.  His right hand traced the outline of Robert’s scar just above his heart.

“I’m guessing no one has ever said anything about your scar to you.”  Robert nodded in agreement.  “But if I know you, and I’m pretty sure I do,” Aaron said with a smirk, “what this scar represents hurts  you  a lot.”

Robert bit his lip and looked to the ceiling, clearly trying not to cry again.  “The fact that your brother organized it and Ross pulled the trigger and there were so many suspects  that were close to you , that hurt you.”

Robert gulped, “I deserved it.”

Aaron grabbed his face roughly, forcing Robert to look at him.  “No.  No one deserves to be shot.  Were you cruel then?  Yes, and you know it.  But you didn’t earn a gunshot wound, Robert.  It never should have happened.”

Robert let out a tight sob.  Aaron knew that as vulnerable as he’s felt over the years about his scars,  perhaps  Robert could relate more than he ever let on.

“Do you know what I think when I see this scar?”  Aaron had placed his palm over the puckered pink skin on his husband.  

Robert just looked at Aaron waiting, his eyes huge and asking for reassurance.

“I think about how much you’ve changed.  How much you’ve learned.  That you’ve become the man I always knew you were.  Not everyone would have become a better person after something like that but you did.”

Aaron leaned it, resting his forehead against Robert’s.  “You’re the strongest person I know.”

Robert smiled and let out a small laugh, tears dancing down his cheeks.

“Shut up.”  

Aaron rolled his eyes.  “I’m serious, Rob.  You almost died and you  knew  that someone close to you had caused it and then, instead of letting that ruin your life, you rose above it.”

Aaron used his thumb to wipe away some of  Robert’s  tears.  “You’re amazing and I love you.  Every now and then my head takes me back to when it was bad but thinking of you, of our marriage and our family and our home, the life we have now, always pulls me out.  That’ll never change.”

Robert smiled and wrapped his arms around Aaron, pulling him in for a tight hug.

“I love you, Aaron.  I’ll never stop telling you that.”

Aaron smiled, pulling Robert impossibly closer.  

“Good.”


End file.
